Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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