Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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