What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Jewish man walks into an ice-cream shop. Using the money he ha eared from his full time job, he orders a chocolate ice-cream in a waffle cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops