Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops