Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops