A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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^ That's not even funny ^

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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