If you're happy and you know it get a life

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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b

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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