A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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