Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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