johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +23

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

This isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who's the fastest kid in AA

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops