two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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