Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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