A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops