Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops