Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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