Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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