What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

Everybody will die

Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

Why are they the "living" daylights?

What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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