Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

Justin Bieber

What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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