When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Women.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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