If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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