Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops