What is green and is not grass A frogg

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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