what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

hey guys im gay

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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