A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When is a door not a door? Never.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did billy get after sex? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops