I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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