What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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The Qur'an

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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