A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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