An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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One time i was sitting down

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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This isn't funny.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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