Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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