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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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womens rights

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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