A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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My cat just died.

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BIG MAC'S

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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