What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How you know when dislextic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops