I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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