How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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