Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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SEX

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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What's big and purple? Barney

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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