Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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Neil is a reterd.

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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poo

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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