i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops