Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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