How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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