Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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