I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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