- Anti Joke

What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

SEX

Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

69

Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

HELLO EVERYONE

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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