Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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