Why didn't he finish his

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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