Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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