Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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