Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

What did the fat man do? He fell over...

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

What's a stupid joke on anti-joke? One that involves a random number with absolutely no meaning

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

What is long hard and woody? A tree.

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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