Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Donald Trump

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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