What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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deez nuts

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops