A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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This is an anti-joke.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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