What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

guess what? bannanas

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

the WNBA.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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