What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops