Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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it

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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