Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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I'm tired.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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