What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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If life gives you lemonade.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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