Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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