whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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ert

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops