why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

Anyone can post anything.

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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