Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Lololol

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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civil rights

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Heyy everyone text this number 320-510-3277 Kay ask him why he poops the bed at age 17 .. His name is mike geier.. Haha

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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