Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Good job, son.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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here's a joke... the american education society

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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