Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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